Yesterday and the day before I did something that I never thought I'd do again...I prayed...and for that moment a rush of emotions came bursting in with such force that it brought tears rolling down my cheeks with a constant flow. I know I haven't been the best person in the world but I asked for forgiveness and for hope, nothing has gone as planned in my life lately and honestly I'm getting use to it. I am by no means a religious person, last time i attended church was more than a year ago...I believe i do...sometimes it just feels good knowing theres something out there other than yourself, or maybe your just talking to yourself motivating yourself alone in the dark, with only a candle lighting up the empty darkness. I was amazed I still knew how to pray and the prayer itself, even in spanish, either way I did it and for some reason i feel like it was something I had to do for myself and also for others who I was praying for.
So ENOUGH, about this religious stuff everyone has their own opinions but I felt a sense of relief when I prayed and I might just keep on doing it from the privacy of my own bed, just to myself.
I was inspired enough to write a poem-just my feelings on what has been going on lately in my life:
-Fork in the Road-
gazing into the mist, I feel my hearts sorrow
walking towards an endless tomorrow,
as each step I take it gets heavier to swallow,
my thirst for life, hope and happiness is shot down by another.I'll follow,
This pounding in my chest weakens me at my knees,
I struggle to keep walking, can't do it, why is it so hard to please?
I carry the weight of someone ten fold my size,
But I'm stubborn and try to minimize,
the weight I have but its no use,
I brought this heavy load on me, now its time to choose,
My knees buckle as sweat pores down my chest,
I finally give in give out , theres nothing left!
I fall down a hundred times over and over again,
As I gaze broken and torn I see the fork ahead of me it's my destiny alone,
I had two choices I had two souls, but which zenda which is the fairest one of all?!
As I pondered there, bleeding from my soul, I wiped the tears from my face and scream, I'm in control!!
The heavy load still weighing down my small frame,
I took a deep breath and let it all rain,
I took those tears I took the pain I took it all and ran away,
I didn't choose which way
I choose to leave it My Way!
I created a new pathway, I formed a new slate,
For this is my life my happiness and I deserve it to be MY way.
Mucho Amor,
BBG
